Perfectionism has held me back. Worrying that what I’m doing isn’t enough or thinking I’m not ready for something because I’m not “perfect”.
It has stopped me from creating, sharing, and expressing myself.
It’s the fear that I’ll mess up or not always do my best.
But, we know, that’s not possible!
We mess up, we make mistakes, and we try again with the goal to learn and grow from it.
That’s what being human is all about!
That’s basically all life is about.
So if I had to boil it down, perfectionism is basically being afraid of being human.
If I am so paralyzed by fear that I can’t speak, I can’t express, I can’t share, then I’m not allowing myself to do the very things that make us human.
Perfectionism will always be irrational with unrealistic expectations, and therefore, anything I set out to do will be impossible. And if something is impossible, then it means it will never be done and will never exist!
That terrified me.
To think about all the things I want to make in this lifetime, but would never be able to because perfectionism would stop me. I’d get 90% there and run away because I knew there were mistakes, I knew someone might not like it, I could do even better with more time, I’m not the best at it, the list goes on…
But guess what??
The origin of perfection in Latin means “a finishing” or “completion”. Perfect means “finished”.
It doesn’t say anything about being flawless or without mistakes. It’s just complete. It means it has been done.
Ironic right? Perfectionism can hold you back from ever completing anything, though completion is the original meaning of perfect.
Writing and producing this song has been the practice for me to embody this new shift on what perfection means to me.
It means completion. It means something has come to a point where it can stand alone as a finished item. And what’s so beautiful about art and music, is that it will always be subjective, it can be done at any time.
So, just the act of doing anything is perfect.
In my song I Am What I Believe I Am, I say “I’m perfectly imperfect the way that I am.”
“Perfectly imperfect” has a beautiful meaning for me now.
“Perfect” knowing that I have finished what I’d set out to do and “imperfect” representing the “unfinished” growth that lies before me.
I will always be perfect on this imperfect journey of life. This brings me a lot of peace. Knowing that each day, perfection is happening all around me and I still have more life that lies imperfectly before me.
This song has been a reminder for me to not overthink or worry, but to just create and express, and believe in myself so I can do the things that make us human, without fear.
No longer will I let this fear stop me from creating and sharing even before beginning.
So, I am releasing this fear and the release of this song is symbolic of this for me.
I am putting out a finished, so therefore “perfect”, song that I am happy and proud of. My first song written and produced by myself. I couldn’t be happier with what I have been able to do! It has given me the confidence to let go, move on, and literally release so I can focus on creating and expressing more!
I Am What I Believe I Am is out tomorrow on July 31st!
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